“ I feel very strongly that I am under the influence of things or questions which were left incomplete and unanswered by my parents and grandparents and more distant ancestors. It often seems as if there were an impersonal karma within a family, which is passed on from parents to children. It has always seemed to me that I had to….. complete, or perhaps continue, things which previous ages had left unfinished."
Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections
What is Family Constellations Therapy?
In Family Constellations Therapy we look for the source of patterns that repeat within families.When you go to a Doctor or many therapists you are working on present day issues in your life.Not all presenting symptoms in a persons’ life are ‘present day’, sometimes they are linked to your family of origin.When you are born, you are born as part of an existing family system, two in fact! your mothers and your fathers. Who raised you does not replace the family you were born into.The Science of Epigenetics informs us that when your grandmother became pregnant with your mother, your precursor DNA was already present, therefore the wisdom and the trauma of at least 3 generations is contained in our DNA.In Family Constellations Therapy we look at what happened in these family systems i.e there may be secrets that affected a life or lives, there may be betrayal, lost or forbidden love, a person who was rejected and forgotten, someone may have gained financially and in life at another’s expense, there may be slavery, early deaths, miscarriages, someone may have gone to war and taken lives, people may have been killed in the Holocaust, or been a perpetrator – the list is endless and encompasses all of the human experience.These actions that occurred in the past in a family system are held in future generations DNA, and can be played out in a person or persons life until they are seen, acknowledged, atoned or forgiven.
These ongoing symptoms / behaviours may manifest in a person or persons as : unexplained illness, illness that appears at the same age in each generation, suicide, self-cutting, feeling unseen, rejecting family or being rejected by family, addiction, struggling to succeed in life or find ones' life purpose, unexplained and out of character change to behaviour at a certain age, unexplained large numbers of abortions or mis- carriages, cycles of poverty, struggling to hold onto money, lack of self-worth, dread of reaching a certain age and the list goes on.
In a Family Constellations therapy setting the facilitator works with the client to explore the family history ( and if it is not known it will reveal itself in the process) to find the original event or events that have been held in the family soul and passed down to future generations in their DNA, and then works in healing language and movements to resource the client and acknowledge the person / people and events that the current behaviours/ illness / patterns stem from.This work can be used:1. in a group setting where the other attendees are invited to stand in as representatives of the Clients family, or illness, etc2. It can be conducted 1:1 in person with a facilitator, where cut out feet shapes are laid on the floor and can represent family members, or small figurines can be used3. on-zoom using RelationChips software or in the minds eye if the client is a visual person – in all cases the intensity and success of the process is equal.
The session ends when the client is free from the event, or understands where the illness or behaviour is pointing ( it may be within themselves or the greater family ), usually the client is looking forward into their own life without carrying the previous burden, and they are resourced so they can move forward with support and confidence, if they have been carrying tragedy or trauma.
This is usually a beginning point from which the client either continues personal development on their own or with counselling, to live differently, positively and on their own terms.
If you want to know more you can look up Bert Hellinger and read the book “Loves Hidden Symmetry” , or call me to discuss the process in more detail.
You can also research Phenomenological approach to therapy and Epigenetics ( the Biological science of what we carry in our DNA ).
